The day has finally arrived.
In seven hours, I’ll be on board my first flight on my journey to Ireland.
It’s finally set in.
I’m going to Ireland.
I’m going alone.
I’m not coming back for two months.
This is terrifying.
But I’m doing it anyway. I haven’t made many spur of the moment decisions that had the potential to change my life. The first one I can remember was the decision to attend Hannibal LaGrange University. I didn’t even know that school existed until the day I decided that it was going to be my school. And I don’t regret it. I made lifelong friends there. Because of HLG, I was able to study at Harlaxton College, where I forged even more lasting friendships, and cemented the knowledge that I have an innate need to travel.
When I decided to go to Ireland between 2 and 3 in the morning, I had the same assurance that had accompanied my choice to apply to HLG. With that assurance, came a peace and a happiness I hadn’t realized had been missing ever since I left my college for the last time. I have no idea how this trip is going to impact me. But I know it will. I will carry memories of these next months with me for decades. It will be amazing, and inspiring, and I will make some lasting friendships.
Someone just needs to explain that to the Lord-of-the-Rings-eagle sized butterflies in my stomach, and the part of my brain that delights in thinking of the worst possible scenarios.
I always get pre-trip insomnia. Usually I solve that problem by
starting finishing my packing, and tidying the house.
I finished packing yesterday, around 2 in the morning.
I locked up the house and left yesterday at 10 in the morning.
So here I am, sitting in the dark in a friend’s apartment, with nothing to chase away my inevitable pre-travel paranoia but some good music, and the unmistakable sensation of being a child who is cleverly masquerading as a responsible adult.
But there is refuge in words. Writing has a calming effect on the wilder speculations of my overly-supplied imagination. Hopefully I’ll nod off before it’s time to wake up and head to the airport. If not, you might get stuck with my thoughts on Peter Pan at 4 in the morning. Guess we’ll find out together.