When I’ve spent the last three hours in the head of an involuntary assassin, or trying to untangle the mess that used to be my fantasy novel, there’s nothing I want to do more than curl up in bed with tea and a book, or ice cream and Netflix. I don’t want to write a blog post about how much writing means to me, or with tips for others who go through the same writing struggles that I do.
There’s nothing more irritating than sitting down to work on one bit of writing, only to be flooded with ideas for a story you haven’t even looked at for a month. Or more.
I need to find a way to stop having so many ideas at the same time.
Like now, for example. The original draft for this post was started before I left the country. Now I’m going back and forth, working on this, and typing up scenes I wrote who knows how long ago for a story that I’ve barely thought about in the past year.
Meanwhile, I’m editing a novel, trying to find the end of another one, plotting out two more, and feeling guilty every time I start to work on one of the numerous beginnings I have jotted down in various notebooks and documents. Not to mention the occasional spurts of poetry that seem to be happening more frequently.
I don’t even know if I have the capacity to focus on one story anymore. I don’t know if I ever did. My first novel, the one I’m currently editing, actually absorbed a few different story ideas along the way, morphing it into something I never could have expected.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that, so far, I haven’t discovered a “writing method”. I feel compelled to write, and often the hardest part is figuring out what, exactly, I’m compelled to write. It’s hard to convey the frustrating hours spent writing a few sentences here, a few there. Staring at a page with a single solitary sentence written at the top that stops making sense as soon as you step away from the desk. Having an idea for a scene that is half-written then having no clue which notebook it’s in. Rearranging sentences for the sake of prepositions so often they don’t even mean anything anymore.